Please, God.

It is painful.

It is lonely.

With trembling hands, I tried to press the nurse call button, but my field of vision grew narrower and darker, and I couldn’t find where it was.

My heart is in extreme pain, my breathless lungs tell me that my life is at its end.

Despite already preparing myself for this many times, I really did not want to die alone.

Not even once could I make someone happy throughout my life.

Before school started for me, I became bedridden, so I don’t have any friends.

Even the nurses who treated me kindly, fixed our relationship as purely professional.

I know that my parents, somewhere in their hearts thought badly about me, who carried a weak life for so long a time.

I bet that no one would even remember me after I die.

White sheets, piles of books, and the sound of medical instruments are the only things that surrounds the world around me.

Memories of me, running under the sun was something impossible for me to have.

I never had played with all my might, nor had I fought with anyone.

A memory happy enough that I will never forget is something I do not have inside of me.

Ah… How sad it is, my life.

I do not want to die alone.

For me to die without anyone missing me.

For me to have lived such an empty life.

Even while having these painful thoughts, my heart, as if it doesn’t care, blinds my senses little by little.

It is over.

Even if I press the button, it is too late for me.

I might not be able to reach it.

I might not be able to hold it.

But, at least…

Even having a life which does not have anything to leave behind, at the very last, I want to die feeling happy.

I want to touch this beloved, adored, dream like, hope filling book.

Ahh…

If I had a chance to be born again, this time, I would like to live like him.

The stretched hands fall on the white sheet, empty.